Selfish for Love.....

I'm selfish for love. I want and need it really bad. "Well love yourself 1st Lisa." 23 years and all I need and want is to feel and be loved by another...how hard is that. Why can't I have that! Why? Why? Why? Mother didn't love me...Why? Father hurt me...Why? I give of myself and get nothing in return...I try God. Why can't I just be loved. Tired. Searching for someone to love me with these flaws. Every guy I meet wants just me physically but they don't want Lisa. Or they wanted what Lisa had to offer them financially and emotionally. Drained me then left me. With nothing. I just want to know how it feels to be in love and be loved back. All the guys see Lisa with her kids and run...Yea I want a family one day but love me now. Please just love me. Protect me. Why am I never good enough. So easy for you to take from me...don't you see you are hurting me. I reject you because you can't give me what I need. I accept you because for the moment I pretend you are.